My wife and I have just started attending a small group at our church on marriage. We are going through a book entitled “His Needs – Her Needs” by Willard F Harley, Jr. .

This is an awesome book! The premise is that we need to identify what our spouse’s basic needs are and then to strive to meet those needs. He lists many of the most popular needs, but also tells us that everyone is different and unique. There are forms and questionnaires to fill out to determine these things.

When the men were asked what we would call some of our basic needs are, you can imagine what came out. Everybody knows what “need” comes up in the top two or three anyway. The women shared a few things, too.

Know the old saying “Women are from Venus, Men are from Mars”? Well how true it is! There is simply no way for a man to be able to understand how a woman feels. She’s simply built differently, and it’s as alien to us men as ours are alien to her.

So even when we do know what a woman’s need is, what does it look like? From what I’ve heard most of my life, and experienced myself . . .  is that “for the most part” a woman doesn’t want to have to tell her man how to do it. She wants him to know.

Let me make this clear. I’m not downing a woman for feeling this way. Like I said, they want us poor beggars to know. I guess I’m just plain dumb. I want  a map. I want step-by-step instructions. I want a manual to follow. (and I’m not downing us men, either!)

So . . . . what does it look like?